Sunday, May 18, 2014

Day 18 of the Camino - Dedicated to victims of abuse.

Today was day 18 of the Camino. Our destination this day was SahagĂșn (9 miles). The day was incredibly beautiful. The sun was shining, a soft cool breeze was blowing and we only had 9 miles to walk. We passed through a couple of towns today and stopped in one of them at the local "bar" to enjoy a bottled water, lemonade and some pistachios. The "bars" are a local restaurant in which pilgrims stop to eat and/or relax their tired feet. It's also a nice place to meet other pilgrims or reunite with the ones you have already met. At this particular bar, we met up with two pilgrims that we have seen throughout most of the walk but had never been formally introduced to. They are from Barcelona and are walking the 500 mile trek to Santiago as well. 

We've also met several other pilgrims that walk the Camino in sections. A lot has to do with the amount of free time they have. One group of four women told us that they wouldn't complete the walk until 2015 because they were only able to walk at certain times of the year due to their work schedule. Others walk the Camino two weeks at a time and return every summer to Spain until they complete their journey. It doesn't matter how long it takes one to complete the walk but that one completes it.

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Today I walked and prayed for victims of abuse. I'm sure most of us know or have known someone who has been abused. Let us pray that they find healing and peace in their lives and may they experience compassion, understanding, love and support from us.

Below is information on abuse that I copied from the website goodtherapy.org
I hope you find it educational and helpful in learning about abuse. 


Abuse—physical, verbal, or emotional maltreatment—can leave psychological wounds that are harder to heal than bodily injuries. Intense, often negative feelings may plague the survivor, and he or she may struggle to cope and lead a happy, peaceful life. Distressing memories, anxiety, blocks to intimacy, and trust issues are common, although many people are able to overcome or minimize challenges like these.

Types of Abuse

All types of abuse are painful and can cause psychological distress, and it is not uncommon for a victim of abuse to experience more than one type of abuse. For example, someone who was sexually abused may have been emotionally abused concurrently. Abuse can occur within any relationship construct, whether familial, professional, or social, and it can also occur between strangers.

 

Many forms of abuse are in fact abuses of power, in which a person repeatedly attempts to control or manipulate the behavior of another person. Emotional or psychological abuse can include a chronic pattern of criticism, coercion, humiliation, accusation, or threats to one’s physical safety, and childhood neglect is also a form of psychological abuse. 

 

Any form of abuse in an intimate relationship, from physical to psychological, constitutes intimate partner violence. In fact, psychological abuse appears in almost every case of physical aggression between intimate partners, and it is often a precursor to physical violence. 

The Psychological Repercussions of Abuse

While abuse in any form can have a negative impact on an individual’s life, significant emotional or psychological problems do not necessarily result from every case of abuse. The severity of psychological repercussions can vary depending on many factors, such as how well the victim was associated with the abuser and whether the abuse was recognized or dismissed by the friends and family of the abused.

 

Children who have been sexually, psychologically, or physically abused often experience emotional problems that can affect their academic performance and social skills. As adults, survivors of abuse may experience difficulty maintaining healthy relationships and productivity at work. Survivors of abuse, who are at heightened risk for developing mental health issues like depression, are likely to encounter one or more of the following psychological issues:

  • Anxiety: People who have experienced abuse may be afraid of people or situations that remind them of their abuse experiences. They may be scared to be alone, frightened of strangers, or fearful of sexual intimacy, depending on the nature of the abuse they experienced. Disrupted sleep, compulsive behaviors, panic attacks, and other indications of anxiety are somewhat common in survivors of abuse.
  • Anger: Survivors of abuse may feel intense anger at their abusers, at those who knew of the abuse and failed to intervene, and even at themselves for being abused, particularly when they believe they could or should have stopped it. Anger is a natural and normal response to being abused, and survivors can learn to manage their anger in a constructive manner that will facilitate healing.
  • Dissociation: A lack of feeling, numbness, confusion, and out-of-body experiences may occur during or after abuse to help the victim avoid the pain and fear associated with abuse. In rare cases, memories of abuse may be repressed, so that the victim does not have any conscious memory of the abuse.
  • Mood Issues: Depression, irritability, and mood swings affect many survivors of abuse.
  • Posttraumatic Stress (PTSD): Nightmares, hypervigilance, flashbacks and other symptoms of PTSD may occur. Survivors are likely to avoid certain settings and situations that remind them of the abuse.
  • Shame: Guilt and shame are often experienced when a survivor believes that he or she deserved the abuse, was responsible for it, or failed to stop it. Challenging these beliefs in therapy can help a person transform these feelings.
  • Self-Destructive Behavior: Sometimes survivors will self-medicate, with drugs or alcohol for example, or engage in self-harm, such as burning or cutting themselves. Other times, people may seek out scenarios in which the abuse is repeated, neglect their personal health and hygiene, or sabotage any potential for success. These behaviors are often representative of low self-esteem, which is a common symptom of abuse.  
  • Trust Issues: Learning to trust others after abuse has occurred can be challenging, particularly with regards to intimacy. 

Psychotherapy for Abuse Survivors

Therapy can help a person express and process difficult emotions associated with the abuse, develop self-compassion and self-care strategies for managing moments when he or she feels emotionally overwhelmed, and learn to trust against

 

Group therapy has demonstrated effectiveness in providing social support to help abuse survivors cope with and transform their feelings of shame, guilt, and alienation from others as they interact and bond with other people who have lived through similar experiences. For those who fear the vulnerability and exposure they may experience in a group setting, working one-on-one with a therapist can be a more intimate and personalized experience.


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Pictures from the day's walk.

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Can you find the cross ?

Fr. Benjamin walking the Camino.

One of many different types of arrows that point the way to Santiago. 

More yellow arrows.

Did you find the yellow arrow?

Another yellow arrow.

A field ready for planting.

My beautiful sister Janice.

Fr. Benjamin standing next to a beautiful tree. See the next picture for a close up of its blossoms.

Tree blossoms.

Daisies along the Camino.

A section of the Camino that is paved. 

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